I’m a firm believer that children need to be taught how to dream. By “dream,” I mean having a driving hope for the future—a clear concept or idea of what they want to do or be. Every child needs to learn this, and children with special needs are no exception. Some children develop a dream for their lives from early childhood, but many children must be taught to dream. These are the kids that shrug their shoulders and say, “I dunno,” when asked about their future plans.
Why Dream?
A child with a dream has greater motivation to achieve. Children who don’t dream get swept up into the current of life and float along wherever it takes them. They are directionless. They end up having careers they never really wanted—ones that aren’t fulfilling or satisfying. They may use drugs, have boyfriends who are abusive, or otherwise find themselves in trouble. They may be discouraged or depressed. They aren’t driven by a larger purpose.
How to Teach Your Child to Dream:
- Talk about Your Child’s Future. Ask your child what he’d like to be when he’s older. As you observe your child, offer possibilities: “That’s a beautiful picture. Wow, maybe you’ll be an artist someday.” Talk about practice and hard work. If you watch a talented performer, say, ‘I’ll bet she practiced very hard to get so good.” Even comments like, “Have you ever wanted to learn to sing like that?” invites the opportunity to dream. Your son or daughter need not know exactly what his or her career goals are, but should be headed in a general direction.
- Use Your Child’s Talents and Interests as a Guide. There are two guideposts to use as you teach your child to dream. The first guidepost is talent. If your child has a particular talent or skill, that’s a direction to move in. What careers could utilize that talent? If she ends up in a career where she can use her strengths, she’ll be doing something she’s good at for the rest of her life. That’s bound to promote self- esteem and a happy future. The second guidepost is interests. What makes your child’s eyes light up? What does he love to do? What is entertaining and rewarding for him personally? If your child ends up with a career that interests him, he’ll be stimulated and motivated in his life’s work, no matter how simple it may be.
- Find role models. Can you contact someone who has achieved the goal or succeeded in the career your child is considering? Could your child meet this person, or correspond, under your supervision? Let your child ask questions about how this role model achieved his dream. Allow your child to see this role model at work—performing or creating. A child with a role model is much more likely to strive for his goals.
- Create a dream box. Let your child collect articles, trinkets, or awards having to do with her dreams or future goals. Have her write about where she’d like to live, the kind of career she’d like to have, etc., and put it into the box.
“But I’m afraid to encourage my special needs child to dream, because she’ll be disappointed if she fails.”
It’s much better for your child to shoot for the stars and only reach the treetops, than shoot for the treetops and end up in the mud. Children who’ve been given permission to dream often surprise us. And they learn to readjust their dream if need be, as long as they’ve learned what it feels like to have one.
Recently I watched a program where a young girl with cerebral palsy had a therapy session with llamas. She was so delighted with the animals and had such a special bond with them that she began visiting them weekly, cuddling, grooming, and feeding them. She became happier and more active than her parents had ever seen her. Her mother said, “She now wants to raise llamas when she grows up.” They were giving her ample opportunity to practice. Way to dream!
Brigham Larkin, a young man with Down’s Syndrome, dreams of being president of the United States. His parents have not dissuaded him. He may not ever reach that goal, but with his determination, I wouldn’t be surprised to someday find him in the white house. He’s been in the news, and a few weeks ago he was voted homecoming king of the entire high school.
I have a son with some very frustrating medical problems and yet he is so talented, that I frequently urge him to come up with BIG dreams for his life. I tease, “Remember me when you’re a ga-zillionaire.” I remind him that he has talents few other children have, and that his medical problems are just something he’ll have to contend with as he paves his way. “There is something very important you are supposed to accomplish in your life,” I say. And because I believe this, he does, too. I let him know I have every confidence he will succeed.
Kristyn Crow is the author of this blog. Visit her website by clicking here. Some links on this blog may have been generated by outside sources are not necessarily endorsed by Kristyn Crow.
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