With child abuse numbers so high it is important that parents educate their children. Teaching children to be wary of strangers is not enough, since about 90% of abuse cases happen with an adult that the child knows and respects. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children stresses that parents need to teach their children using “clear, calm, reasonable messages about situations and actions to look for.”
What We Need To Teach Our Children
Child Help USA, an organization that offers support to children who have been abused or neglected, provides a list of prevention tips for parents to teach their children. These tips help children recognize possible abusive situations and therefore prevent abuse.
- There are “good touches”, “bad touches”, and “confusing touches.” “Bad touching” is when someone touches part of your body that is covered by a bathing suit. If someone makes you touch his or her private parts that is also “bad touching”. “Confusing touches” are any touches that make you feel uncomfortable.
- If someone shows you nude photos of adults or children, or if someone takes a picture of you without your clothes on – it is abuse.
- Listen to the voice inside if it says that something isn’t right. Then get away as quickly as possible.
- Don’t be alone with someone that you don’t feel safe with.
- Never accept gifts or rides unless your parents have approved.
- You should always tell an adult if any of the rules are broken. If they don’t believe you keep telling people until someone does.
What Parents Need To Do
Besides teaching their children to be aware of “tricky people” who establish relationships with children for the sole purpose of later trying to abuse them, parents need to follow these guidelines.
- Participate in your child’s activities. Know where your children are and whom they are with. Never let them be alone with another adult that is not a primary caregiver.
- Teach them the roles and boundaries of adult relationships. Music teachers should just teach music. Coaches should only be seen while at the ball park.
- Teenagers are also at risk so make sure that they understand the dangers and rules.
- Never leave your children unattended, even in the car.
- If a child shares a concern with you take it seriously, don’t degrade the child or downplay the situation. Call the authorities and report the abuse, no matter who the abuser is.
- Encourage children to never play alone outside.
- Monitor your children while on the internet and teach them to never reveal their real name or address.
- Pay attention when an adult shows greater interest in your child than appropriate, interest outside the scope of their concern, offers rides to or from events, or gives your child gifts.
- Make sure your child care center will only release your children to you as a parent, or other adult approved by you.
The Signs of Sexual Abuse
Parents also need to be aware of the signs of sexual abuse. The more signs your child exhibits the higher the likelihood of abuse.
- Be alert for any talk or actions that reveal premature sexual understanding including sexually acting out on younger children or toys or knowing new words for private parts.
- Fear of being with a particular person or family member.
- Nightmares and/or bed-wetting.
- Drastic changes in appetite.
- Overcompliance or aggressive behavior.
- Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas
- Drastic change in school performance.
By teaching our children to recognize child predators and being aware of the signs of abuse and potential dangerous situations we can help protect our children and prevent abuse.
For more information about child molesters and who they are see my blog “Our Children In Danger From Child Molesters”.
For information about what to do if you suspect child abuse or your child informs you of abuse see my blog “What To Do If Your Child Is Abused”.