One of the things I remember most about Tyler’s toddler years was how impulsive he was. The constant grabbing of items within his reach. The climbing on objects to grab items that was not within his reach. Toddlers have little impulse control. They see something they want and they feel they should have it. Or they are simply curious about an item and want to touch (and taste) it. I remember keeping Tyler inside the shopping cart much longer than I probably should have. However, whenever I allowed him to walk besides me he would grab whatever tickled his fancy. Toddlers are impulsive by nature. It’s our job as parents to help teach impulse control. Dr. T. Berry Brazelton offers the following tips:
(1) Always make sure you have your child’s attention first. You may have to take his face in your hands and establish eye contact to do so.
(2) Let your child no that he can’t act on his impulses. For instance, if you see him eyeing an antique vase, tell him, “You can’t have that.”
(3) You may have to physically remove your child from his surroundings to stop him from doing something that you have forbidden him to do.
(4) Offer an alternative, if possible, but make it a “take-it-or-leave-it” offer.
(5) Offer sympathy over your child’s frustration and disappointment in not being able to have or do what he wants.
(6) Explain in simple terminology why your child can’t have or do what he wants.
(7) Comfort your child and let him know that you believe he can and will learn to control his impulses.
(8) We spend so much time saying “no” during this stage. We need to find something to say “yes” to.
(9) Don’t try to do all the disciplining yourself. It can become quite tiresome. Instead, share the responsibilities with other adults in your child’s life.
See also:
Taking a Break: An Alternative to Time-Out
10 Ways to Prevent Aggression in Toddlers