Maybe we have worked with our children on how to make friends and how to be a friend, and we have probably spent some time teaching our children about basic manners—but what about the manners of how to meet new people? Making introductions and meeting new people can be uncomfortable if a child does not know what is expected of him or her.
Young children can be confused—do they shake hands? Do they look people in the eye? Why is it that there are different expectations when you meet different kinds of people? All of these social ambiguities can really make a child feel out of place. As parents, we can help our children learn what is expected of them and prepare them for introductions. The benefit is that our children will feel more confident and then have stronger self-esteem, and as parents we will feel more confident and less likely to feel concerned as well.
Here are some things to take into account as you are teaching your child about introductions: what are your personal values about children meeting adults and other children—do you want your child to learn to shake hands, call adults “Mr.” and “Mrs.”, etc.? You should teach your child how to introduce himself to someone new: “Hello, I’m Jim Smith, it is nice to meet you” as well as how to respond when someone else is making the introduction. Additionally, you will want to teach your child how to do the introducing—how she can introduce two or more people to each other. I taught my own children how to do this by expecting them to introduce me to their friends (and vice versa)—this was a relatively easy situation to be able to practice without feeling like they would embarrass anyone if they got it “wrong.”
You can practice introductions with your kids, you can also model good manners and good “introducing” behaviors, but you also need to give them plenty of opportunities to practice and learn. This way they can become increasingly comfortable in a variety of social situations.