“Do you have something for me to do?” This is Tyler’s roundabout way of saying that he’s bored. It’s hard to understand how a child with so much cannot find something to do. One of his biggest problems is he’s so accustomed to doing things with me that at times he’s unable to enjoy time alone.
He can amuse himself for hours on end one day and be unable to tear himself away from me the next. Being an only child, he’s used to having me to himself and I think he’s grown comfortable with that. What I am attempting to do is get him comfortable with the idea of enjoying his alone time. Just like parents need alone time kids need to alone time also.
As we prepare to move back to New Orleans, I find it especially important that he learns to amuse himself. He won’t have my family around and there are no kids his age on my block. It’s tempting for me to amuse him all the time but it’s not good for him or for me. The other day he was literally crying because I would not get up and find something for him to do- or at least tell him what he could do. It was hard seeing him cry, he seemed obviously in pain but realizing it wasn’t a physical malady made it easier for me to stand my ground. I want him to be able to make decisions on his own, including ways to amuse himself.
Instead of telling him what to do, I provide him with lots of tools that he can choose from. This includes art material, books, magazines, computer and other electronic games, etc. He has a huge remote control SUV but he won’t go outside unless I come outside and watch him! He also has a CD player and tons of music and a few books on tape. So he has more than enough to keep him busy. Overtime I hope he will learn to enjoy spending time alone entertaining himself. Time to play, create and time to simply daydream.
See also:
Parenting Your Only Child: What to Expect
Research Shows Having Imaginary Friends Beneficial To Young Children