“Mine!”
“It’s Mine!”
“Mom!”
“Aunt Heather!”
One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with was negotiation between two toddlers when my nephew came to visit my daughter. At 14 months apart in age, they were very close and at total opposition at the same time. Sharing is impossible to teach, no matter how vital it is for children to learn.
Sharing is impossible to teach when you don’t want to share yourself. For example, when I get mocha at Starbuck’s, I don’t want to share it with anyone. When I get a new book, I know I’m going to let my husband read it, but I get to read it first. I don’t share my car and I sure don’t like to have to share my favorite outfit.
So how do you teach your baby to share?
Well, you start by teaching them to barter. If one child wants a toy and the other wants another toy, offer to trade. You start the trade process yourself. Lying on the floor, you may pick up one of your baby’s toys and evince an interest in it. Chances are your baby is going to want to take the toy, take the toy away from you so you will pay attention to them or ignore it. If your baby wants the toy, then you take the one they are playing with. It’s really that simple. The exchange process will take time to sink in, but a baby will learn at an astounding rate if you give them a chance.
What do you do when they don’t want to exchange? Your baby will likely want to play with two things at once at some point. You’ll have to gently shake your head and take back the one they want while they hang on to the one they want to keep too! It won’t always be easy, but when it comes down to a conflict between two babies over the same toy, you’ll have to teach them patience. Usually that will involve moving the second child to a different interest to teach them to wait.
Sharing is impossible to teach, luckily babies are fabulously gifted and they can learn the impossible. You might even find yourself learning a few things along the trial-error path with them