A child’s first introduction to manners is witnessing parental behavior. They see how we talk to them, to their other parent, to grandparents, to strangers, and how we treat our friends. It will be difficult to enforce saying your “pleases” and “thank you’s” if your child never hears proper manners from the parent. A parent should say “thank you” and “please” to the child to reinforce manners and to instill a sense of respect. In addition, a parent needs to actively teach proper manners since children simply do not understand the value in it. You can begin as early as the toddler years to begin showing the ropes of etiquette and good manners. By preschool age a child may still need to be reminded as teaching manners is an ongoing lesson.
Manners to be enforced in the preschool years:
Please and Thank You: A child as young as three can be expected to say those magic words even if it takes a bit of prompting. Keep reinforcing it kindly and show the respect back and it will soon take hold.
Waiting to talk: A preschooler should understand that when adults are speaking she needs to wait until they are finished to ask a question or make a statement. We reinforce interruptions by allowing them. If your child interrupts an adult conversation tell the child she must wait quietly or her request will not be granted. Stick to your guns as this may also be a lesson in obedience. If you child has a pressing issue like she has to go potty then instruct her to say “excuse me”.
Negative attitude: Children have a way of expressing every thought or feeling that comes their way. However, a child needs to learn that negative thoughts need not be expressed or if necessary in a polite manner. Do not expect this to be mastered by a small child but always reinforce it so it will become a habit and not a struggle later on.