If I had it to do all over again, I would make sure Hailey spent more time with other people. After a divorce your social life seems to diminish. Things that you would have been invited to as part of a couple you are no longer invited to. It’s uncomfortable sometimes for friends that the two of you shared during your marriage. They don’t feel like they can invite you both but inviting one of you feels like choosing sides so the invitations just stop coming.
This makes it lonelier as a single mother but it also limits your child’s exposure to groups of people. I think this made Hailey more shy and nervous around groups of people than she might have been. Most of our time was spent just the two of us, or if not it was just one other friend or one of my sisters. Hailey never really had the chance to get comfortable with groups of people. As a single mother it seems like your days are so full that sometimes weeks will go by without you and your child spending time with anyone other than each other. It is very easy to stay in this little cocoon that you have created for you and your children but I think it takes a toll on your child’s social skills.
This was evident at my nieces wedding over the weekend. Hailey and her boyfriend came to the wedding but stayed to themselves, she didn’t mingle or socialize and they left right after the ceremony. It makes me sad that she is not more comfortable socially.
Maybe she would have been this way anyway, it could just be part of her personality, but as a single mother you feel guilty for everything. I don’t know for sure that it would have made a difference but if I could give one piece of advice to other single mothers it would be to expose your children to all different types of people in as many different social settings as possible to help them be more comfortable with social situations later. Volunteering is a great way to introduce your child to different groups of people in a setting where they are busy so they don’t feel uncomfortable. I wish we had volunteered more.