One important skill that we as parents can help our children to learn is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and experience the feelings of others, and to respond in helpful ways. No child is too young to begin learning about empathy. In fact, you have probably been modeling empathy for your child since the moment that she was born by being sensitive to her feelings and responding to her needs.
As your toddler grows, she can begin to build on the empathy that you have shown her by reaching out to others in a caring way. Of course, this is not something that a parent can demand of a child but rather something that we can strive to provide our toddlers the opportunity to do. Empathy comes in many forms, from kind words to acts of giving and many things in between. As opportunities arise, mention them to your toddler and see whether she takes an interest. Toddlers are often inclined to be helpful, so do not be surprised if she does take the opportunity to help out.
For example, Dylan has a baby brother. A few weeks after I brought baby Blake home from the hospital, I noticed that Dylan would look concerned when Blake was crying. I explained to him that babies cry for many reasons, including hunger and wet diapers. I told him that when I hear Blake crying, I go to him and figure out what he needs so that I can help him. Dylan wanted to know how he could help him, so I told him that sometimes, simply talking softly to a crying baby can help them to feel better. The next time Blake cried, Dylan went to him and started talking to him. It did help Blake to calm down a bit, and Dylan was beaming with pride. He could see immediately the positive impact that his action had on his brother, and it felt good to him.
Last week, we thinned out Dylan’s toy collection in preparation for his birthday and Christmas. We went through the toys together and I helped him to select about a quarter of his toys to donate to our local thrift store so that other children could buy them. Some of his choices surprised me, but I was careful not to impose my opinions of which toys to keep or let go on him. We dropped the toys off the other day, and I was relieved when he did not ask me to take the toys back as I was concerned that he might.
This week, I plan to clean out my own drawers and closets as well as our pantry. Dylan can help me to pack those things up and bring them to the thrift store and the food shelf. The holiday season is full of opportunities to show others that you care, and your toddler can take part in the giving right along with you. Whether you begin by coloring pictures and bringing them to a local senior center, dropping off old hats and mittens at a local church so that they can be given to people who need them, or something else entirely is up to you. The most important thing is that you treat your child (and others) with empathy. The rest will (eventually) follow naturally.