As parents of young children, it is hard to imagine those little creatures as full grown adults. But someday that’s what they will be. Teaching your child to be responsible is challenging, especially if your child has a chronic condition that often makes you want to baby them or feel sorry for them. Here are some ways to put down your emotions and show your child what it means to be strong and responsible in life.
Teach by example. Children learn by watching how their parents behave in different circumstances. Screaming at a driver for cutting you off will teach your child that that is the appropriate behavior when someone does something you don’t like. Always lead by example with your children. It is unrealistic to think that telling your child that he must behave one way, while you act another is enough for your child to learn. He will see that you don’t live by the rules you preach and will not take you seriously. If he watches you act in responsible, courteous ways throughout his life, he will see that as normal behavior for a grown-up and will incorporate it into his own personality.
Set realistic expectations. Don’t expect your two-year-old to pick up his toys and put them back exactly where they go. As your child grows, show them how to take care of their things responsibly in age appropriate ways. The same goes for medications and treatments. Give your child the power at appropriate ages instead of constantly reminding them or pushing them to take their meds.
Allow them to learn from their mistakes. If we constantly pick up the pieces when our children make mistakes, they will never learn that there are consequences to our actions. If your child leaves his bike in the driveway and it is run over and ruined, buying him a new one immediately will only show him that it doesn’t matter how we treat our belongings because there is always a new one to be bought. Instead, have him earn a new bike through chores. If you give extra attention to a child who is yelling for your attention, that child learns that such behavior gets him what he wants. This isn’t how it works in real life. If your child wants to skip a necessary medical treatment, he will most likely not feel so good after a day or two. Rather than yelling at him to do his treatments, let him see how not doing his treatments negatively affects his health. Teach your child appropriate behavior now, or don’t expect it when he’s older.
Teach him empathy. Show your child how his actions affect others. Every decision we make has a chain reaction, whether it is throwing a toy and hurting a friend, ditching a friend for someone else and leaving them hurting and left out, or getting behind the wheel of a car after drinking and killing someone else, every move we make impacts someone else. Teach your child how to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and to consider other people when making decisions. This will help your child to make better, healthier decisions, rather than just doing what he wants to do in the moment.