Yeah, right! Good luck with that.
I know some adults (okay, one in particular) who explode when they miss a single shot at a mini-golf course, so the thought of having a toddler lose gracefully is somewhat of an oxymoron to me.
Still, childhood experts say it is very possible for young children to lose a game without having a full-blown meltdown, provided you teach them about winning first.
This, of course, opens an entirely different can of worms: When playing a game with your toddler (Candy Land, hopscotch, Memory, etc.) do you let her win all the time, or do you try your best, so your tot can practice losing?
According to psychologists, it’s okay to let young children win as long as you don’t let them know you’re letting them win.
So, according to experts, the idea that kids are going to lose in the real world, so they should get used to that experience in a safe environment, is not one you should harp on when they are toddlers?
More or less.
Experts maintain that just because you might want to drive home a point about losing gracefully, the lesson may not correlate to what’s appropriate developmentally for your child. Meaning, you might have a justification for your “rules” on winning and losing, but that doesn’t mean those principles are developmentally helpful to your toddler.
Simply put: Making a child feel bad doesn’t help them do better.
If you want to help your child accept defeat, minus the meltdown, experts suggest preparing him for challenges he will face in and outside the home. Some ways to do so include:
Teach rather than compete: Until your toddler gets to a point where he can make informed decisions for himself, you should be there to guide him and carefully explain the concept of actions and consequences, rather than simply serving as a fellow contestant in a game of duck, duck, goose.
Monitor your child’s skill level: Instead of letting your kid win all the time, recognize his improvements and adjust your strategy accordingly. Basically, once your child improves, then up your game. You don’t need to let toddlers win every single time, rather you should help your children learn skills so they can fend for themselves.
Bottom line: When playing games with toddlers, don’t make it obvious that you are letting them win and continue to up your game as their skills improve.
Related Articles:
Would You Skip Your Toddler’s Birthday?
Why Toddlers and Snakes Don’t Mix