Yes, teaching manners to a toddler may sound about as easy as herding cats and to be honest, you wouldn’t be wrong in thinking that. Teaching etiquette to your children has to start at some point and toddlerhood is as good a time as any to begin teaching them. There are a number of ways you can begin teaching manners to your toddler and none of them require absolute perfection on the part of your toddler – because your chances of winning the lottery are higher than having a perfectly mannered toddler.
So where do we get started?
You start with the right foundation and that foundation begins with you and your spouse. Be well mannered around them and to them. It’s the same theory that says to get respect, you have to show respect. You ask your toddler with pleases and you say thank you. You always offer an excuse me when you belch and excuse you when they do it. You demonstrate consideration for what they are doing and what your spouse is doing.
Despite their age, your toddler is very observant of the human nature occurring around them. They are watching you and they are listening. When my daughter was about sixteen months old, she would stare fixedly at whatever I was eating and she would say thank you much! I knew what that meant – it meant please and I would offer her a bite and she would devour it. She continually used this phrase for the next year and because we knew what it meant – when we said please to her, we would also say thank you much and eventually thank you much became please all on its own.
It’s More Than Going Through the Motions
Well-mannered children don’t just happen – they have to be developed and one of the more positive ways to develop their manners is to understand why they need to learn and letting them know why. You see manners come from a place of compassion in the heart – it shouldn’t just be a perfunctory action. If you focus your toddler on being kind because they want to be treated kindly, you’ll likely have more success.
For example, when you say thank you to your toddler, they probably beam. Ask them if it feels good when someone says thank you and then let them know it feels good to you to be thanked. Yes, this will take time, it won’t happen overnight. Your toddler won’t be able to understand all the little details right away, but just give them time – patience and repetition and the constant good example you demonstrate will go a long way towards encouraging your toddler to grow into a kind person.
How do you practice manners around your little ones?
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