This week I blogged about the question, “Is Your Teen Ready to Date?” I would like to spend a few more blogs on this topic because I think it is a really important issue for parents of teenagers.
Perhaps you have decided that your teen is not ready to date…or maybe you are just not ready to let your teen date. How do you handle that?
The first thing you need is your ammunition. Why are you not allowing your teen to date? Do you truly believe it is because your teen is too young? They are not emotionally ready? You are not satisfied with their grades? Or perhaps you just don’t care for your teen’s attitude.
You need to have a reason. I have never been one to say, “Because I said so.” I personally think we should have a dialogue with our children and come equipped with our reasons for saying no.
If the reasons are based solely on your personal feelings, such as you have fear or you don’t like the idea of dating…well, I hate to tell you but those really aren’t very good reasons. If you are going to tell your teen no that they can’t date, it needs to be based on something concrete.
Then you can share with your teen why you have decided they cannot date but you don’t leave it at that. You then provide them with some goals to set. “Once I start seeing a better attitude” or “Once you pull those grades up.”
Obviously at some point your teen should be allowed to date. Even if it’s not until they are 18 years old, the time must eventually come so you need to make sure that you and your teen have discussed goals and what must be done before they can start dating.
Then when your teen meets those goals, you have to follow through. So be sure that you are going to stick with what you say. If your teen does what you asked and you still don’t allow them to date, you are not going to be counted as very trustworthy.
If you are a parent who has decided that you’re teen is not ready to date, what reasons have you given? In my next blog we will talk about how to handle teen dating, once you have decided to give the green light.
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