When my children were younger, it felt like they made up my entire world. And in many ways that is true. Yet in the midst of raising small children, I still tried to find things that I was interested in, outside of parenting.
This can still be a problem when our children become teens. If our lives revolve solely around them, it’s going to create certain challenges for them and us.
The first is that we won’t be prepared for the season when we eventually become empty nesters. This can be a difficult period for many parents, but it can be made worse when we haven’t developed outside interests.
With one of my children out of the house, another in high school and my youngest in his last year of middle school, there are many times I am left alone. Or it ends up being just my husband and me.
It’s in those moments that I think to myself, “So this is what it will be like when they are all gone.” Without having something to fall back on, something to do, it can make the transition more difficult.
The second problem that can be created when our teens become our world is that they feel smothered. This can cause them to rebel or to distance themselves.
But it also makes transitioning into adulthood challenging because they haven’t learned how to be independent. We have always been there to “rescue” them or to make sure everything is going as it should. Of course, there is a balance in this.
It’s healthy for our teens to see us have outside interests—to go out with friends, to volunteer, or engage in hobbies. As much as we love them and as important as it is that we are there for them, our teens cannot be our entire world.