A recent Washington Post article addresses the conflict of treating teenagers like kids, or considering them to be young adults.
Just who is a “young adult”? Common sense says legal adulthood starts at age 18. But elements of our society have unofficially declared that the onset of adulthood matches the onset of puberty at the very grown-up age of 12 – which is one of the reasons why parents often seem uncertain about how to parent during the critical teen years.
The point of the article appears to be that parents should not forgo parenting and being hand on with these young people… regardless of what you call them. I couldn’t agree more.
As a teenager, I attended a church where there was an extreme level of formality, especially for the 1980’s. Everyone addressed each other quite formally, down to the small children. Boys under a certain age were called master, girls were called miss. It made us feel very grown up and respected as kids. I think this is the aim when poeple begin to address teens as young adults… to make them feel special.
Unfortunately teens quickly become what you call them. Even if you are trying to boost their self esteem and make them feel valued, the last thing you want is a teenager attempting to act like an adult when they are not emotionally ready.
So how do you strike the balance? I believe it is OK to give your teen an ego building nick name such as Mr. or Miss, but you must also remind them that they are still children. They are your precious children, but children all the same. To be treated as adults, they must earn priveleges through good behavior, the taking on of responsibilities, and by exercising sound judgement.
If the outside world contradicts you, also take the time to help them evaluate how the outside world is not there to catch them and fix the mistakes of those teens who do start acting grown up way too young.
~If you liked this you should also read my other posts at the home blog, the homeschooling blog, the parents blog, and the frugal blog. You can read my recent posts here.
Can You Be Too Strict with Teens?
Teens Rule if You Don’t Set Teen Rules
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