There is no question that teenagers need rules, which is many times not a difficult thing for parents to mete out. What can be more challenging is also giving teenagers their freedoms.
It can be difficult to draw the line between the two. However some issues are non-negotiable and require firm rules. For instance rules should be established concerning a curfew, the ability to drive the family car or even in dating. In each family the logistics of those rules will vary but they should be established and then discussed.
I will admit that I have no problem coming up with rules. To me they make life easier and they leave no room for questioning. What can be more difficult however, is giving my teens their freedoms.
I guess there are really two primary reasons for this. One is that I sometimes am afraid to give them freedoms. The second is that I’m not always so sure what those freedoms should be.
It helps that I have a husband with whom I can discuss these issues with. We talk about them, give our thoughts and then we come up with an agreement. Sometimes one of us might be more reluctant but we know that there comes a time when we really do have to learn how to let go of the reins a bit.
If we try to make life nothing but rules we are more likely to see our teen’s rebel. They need to know that while we do have certain expectations, we also trust them to begin making their own choices and decisions. How else can they do that unless they are given the space and room to do it?
It’s really all about balance and I will be the first to admit that it can be a challenge to implement. However it is a necessary part of growing up. Yes, teens definitely need rules but they also need freedoms.
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