Have you ever listened to two people telling the same story? It always sounds different. In some cases it may be so different as to be unrecognizable.
Just listen to anyone telling about an argument they had, whether it is with their spouse or some other person. Depending on the person’s personality, what happens is that they come out as either the one doing the right thing or they come out as the victim, the one that is being hard done by. The way they tell it will determine how those listening view them and the other person involved.
We all tend to slant a story so that it shows us in the best light and the other person in the worst light.
Think of anytime you’ve been relating an argument with your spouse or family member, doesn’t your telling of the story always put them in the wrong?
It’s true that there are nearly always two sides to a story, even when it comes to divorce. He may have been having an affair and running around with some other woman. But she may have contributed by neglecting him and being so busy with other things like work, church, family that she never paid enough time or attention to him and to her marriage.
Another factor in that is memory is unreliable. In the course of dealing with situations we can often subtly change them over time, so the way we remember it is not exactly the way it happened. Ever listened to your spouse tell a story about a family event or holiday you took? I’ll just bet it doesn’t quite line up with the way you remember it. Little details have changed. Often it is quite an unconscious thing.
So, next time you’re about to tell a story about your spouse, you might want to stop and think about what your point is in telling it? Is it to make your spouse look bad or yourself look good? Maybe, you’d be better not telling it at all.
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