How in control do you have to be as a parent? How much “say” are you trying to have with your children? Are you someone who is pretty laid back, or do you have your family life scheduled and everyone has their own copy of the activities calendar? Regardless of how fabulously organized you are, it might be worthwhile to think about letting go a bit on the leisure time and allowing your children to have some completely unstructured time to do “their own thing”…
Sure, it might seem like your kids are “wasting time” or doing something silly and entirely not educational—but as long as it is not all the time, it could be more productive than you think. Not to mention, leisure time is important; downtime is important; and learning how to enjoy oneself without having mom or dad schedule every minute is a good thing too. Sometimes, it can be helpful for us to give them some choices if they are stuck: “Why don’t you go outside and play some soccer with your friends, ride your bike, or skate on the sidewalk?” but even these suggestions can be offered as “ideas” and not as expectations. Children need to be able to loll about and fool around, but they also need to learn how to choose their own activities too. Too much parental instruction and overly-structured time can make them feel hostile, exhausted, and lacking the confidence to make choices and solve problems.
So, while you may be tempted to be judgmental and comment on the lack of productivity in their leisure time, try remembering that it IS leisure time—it is meant to belong to them and be play. It might not look like anything is happening, but it is good for the soul and mental health even for a child to have some opportunity to choose his or her own idea of fun (within reason, of course.)
Also: Do Parents of Only Children Play with Their Children More?
Are Your Kids Getting Enough Nature?
The FUN Blog