Over the winter break, I have found that there is some validity to the old saying “terrible twos”. It’s possible that I am just noticing it more now because all the kids are home from school, or maybe we’re just moving into “that” phase. Either way, I have found that time-outs and naughty spaces really do work.
Find a spot that can be considered a naughty spot (ours is a specific corner in the kitchen). When my two year old pitches a fit, or does something that is considered naughty behavior, she is given a warning to stop. By giving her a warning, I come down to her level, look her straight in the eye and administer the warning in a clear, adult voice, but not too threatening. If the behavior occurs again, I again get down to her level, tell her why she is going to the naughty corner and then I place her there and set the timer for two minutes. Rule of thumb: place your child in time out for the number of minutes that correspond with their age (2 years old = 2 minutes, 3 years old = 3 minutes and so on).
When the timer goes off, your child should be told they can leave the naughty spot and again get down to their level, explain to them once more why they were in time-out and ask them to apologize for whatever behavior they did, or to a specific person if they were rude or aggressive with them. When all is said and done, give them a big hug and kiss and remind them that you love them and that you are proud that they did their punishment and apologized.
Try not to get angry or upset while they are in time out. Remember, we’re focusing on the action, not the attitude. So as long as they are listening to your direction (by going to the naughty spot) they can cry and scream the whole time if they want to as long as they’re staying. If they leave the naughty spot, without saying a word, place them back. Keep repeating this because eventually, they will get the idea or be so worn out they will have to stay where they are.
For older children (over six) – if they leave the naughty spot, they can be told that an extra minute will be added to their time each time they leave.
Remember, be patient. If you lose control, they will lose control. No matter how much they protest, cry and scream, be patient, bite your tongue and get through it.