Here is a quick guide, a list of items that many happy couples agree are important for a lasting marriage.
A = Acceptance
One of the most important things that couples learn is that you aren’t going to makeover or change your spouse. Learning to accept each other quirks, faults, and all is the test of real love.
B = Baggage
Try to avoid allowing baggage from other relationships and experiences to influence your marriage too much. It’s not good to judge your mate according to others or to unfairly compare your marriage to other relationships. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
C = Constructive Criticism
Try to offer constructive criticism instead of tearing the other person down. We all have room for improvement, but we rarely enjoy hearing about. It’s much easier to take when presented in a loving and constructive way.
D = Deference
Defer to your spouse and put him or her first, at least some of the time. Everyone needs to feel special and important, and we have to take turns being number one.
E = Equality
Equality to some degree is necessary, but it can be overrated. Men and women are different, have different needs, and that means that sometimes one may need more than the other. While structuring a marriage like an equal partnership works for some people, it may not for others. Find a balance that makes both of you happy.
F = Forgiveness
In order to build a lasting and healthy marriage, we have to learn to forgive each other. It doesn’t mean ignoring hurts or letting your mate slide, it means not allowing painful memories to rule our lives, our thoughts, or our hearts. It means moving on instead of seeking revenge.
*Please check back tomorrow to see the next installment (G-M).