It can be tempting to think of childhood and the growing up years as being one nonstop romp for our kids. It can also be tempting to imagine that the parent is the one who is anxious and stressed and sad to see that little one grow into adult. The fact is, however, that growing up can be anxiety-producing for kids too. I know firsthand that during some of those major developmental leaps and, especially now that my kids are on the eve of adulthood, there can be a great deal of emotion and anxiety on their part associated with growing up.
What is going to happen next? Who am I supposed to be? What if I don’t know what I want to do with my life? How am I going to be able to handle it? Who is going to feed me? What if I fail? You can see how some of the questions that many of us still find ourselves asking when we are faced with life’s changes can be heart-wrenching for a child. Learning how to live with unanswered questions or to tolerate the changes and transitions that come with growing up can be really tough. If we parents are insensitive, we can actually say and do things that make it worse.
Instead of critique and pressure, I think we can combine guidance, compassion and boundaries—letting our children know that we are not going to abandon them to the wolves while at the same time assuring them that we have confidence in them and they are going to be able to rise to the challenges and stretch to meet the new demands. It can be hard to watch them struggle and we definitely want to watch out that anxiety and stress do not slip into depression, but the struggle can be inevitable and build character. Encouragement, support, and NOT stepping in to do things for them can be just the way to boost them during those periods of anxiety as they stretch and test their wings and get ready to fly.
Also: Anxiety and Sleeping Problems
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