Making decisions together can lead to a happy Marriage. Studies have shown that making decisions alone can negatively impact a marriage. The person who is making the decisions is unhappy because they feel the entire weight of the responsibility. And the person who has no hand in the decision making may feel resentful or be left in a position of accepting something that they don’t want or don’t agree with.
When making a mutual decision, both partners should be willing to be objective enough to look at the factors that will create the best overall outcome for the marriage and the family. They should also each be concerned about the wishes of each other.
One great benefit of making shared decisions is that there is no one spouse who has to be wrong or who has to lose in the decision making. Both spouses are ultimately responsible for the decision. There is no chance for resentment to build, and even if a decision turns out to be the wrong one, there is a sense of learning and growing together as a couple. No one spouse should surprise the other by making a truly important decision.
What if you cannot come to an agreement on a decision? As a couple, you should have a plan in place to deal with a time when you just can’t reach a mutual decision. Some suggestions include designating one spouse to always make the final decision when you are truly stuck, taking turns making the final decision, making the decision that involves the least disruption to the family, allowing the spouse who usually take care of a certain area (such as the main child caregiver or the main bill payer) to have the final say for a related decision, or designating a third party to listen to both sides and then offer an opinion.
Many Christian couples believe that within a marriage, the man has the final say, and the wife’s job is to submit to her husband’s decisions. But even if this is your belief, this still leaves a lot of room for mutual discussion and decision making. The husband should listen to the wisdom of his wife, and the wife should sincerely make her opinion known, before the ultimate decision is made.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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