Someone recently asked in the forum about the responsibilities of fathers. I believe the best thing a man can do for his children is to love his wife and the best thing a woman can do is to love her husband. It is best for the children and also for each other that you show your spouse that you love them by your words and by your actions.
Your spouse needs to know that they are the most important person in your life. Yes, the kids may be important and you want them to know how much you love them. But it is vital for your marriage that your spouse knows he or she is your top priority. After all they are they one who you have committed to for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.
I was talking to a woman whose husband died recently. She had been nursing him for a number of years. Because she was devoted to him for so long, she now is starting a new life in a sense, getting out and meeting people and becoming involved in activities. She saw that prior to this, he was her first priority.
Sometimes illness will highlight or change those priorities for a time. When my mother and again when our daughter was seriously ill they had to be my priority and my husband understood that. Similarly one time I rushed to Sydney to be with our son after an accident but normally if it’s a choice between my husband and family, then Mick is always going to be the one to whom I owe and show loyalty most. He is the one I am committed to for life.
I believe it helps for children to see displays of affection between their parents, to see Mom and Dad walking hand in hand or with their arms around each other or kissing. When our children were growing up it was not unusual for see such displays of affection. It gave them a feeling of security – that all was right with their little world because Mom and Dad loved each other. Of course they still see it now.
Just recently when talking to our now adult married daughter about movies she said of one movie, ’It could be very harmful to a relationship if you were insecure. But for anyone secure in their relationship like you and Dad, it would be fine.’
Really that’s what it‘s all about having that security in your marriage. Making your spouse feel secure and the children feel secure because they can see and know their parents love each other.
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