For the past couple of months things have been particularly good with my ex, far better than they ever were when we were married. Though I’m afraid there were ulterior motives on his end, I was just happy that we weren’t fighting. We were working together through things, the relationship was more than civil, you could almost call us friends. I was relieved. Maybe we didn’t have to have a horrible nasty divorce like everybody else! But, this has happened before, and it will happen again. Things are always good for a little while, I start to let my guard down, and then they hit the fan again. I’m not sure why I seem to forget about the cycle when things are good, but here we are again.
The trigger is almost always the same; jealousy. To me, divorce has always been a very final thing. There’s no going back and forth, when it’s done it’s done, especially when there are young children involved. Unfortunately, in today’s society it’s becoming much more common to remarry the ex. What does this teach our children? If we don’t take marriage and divorce seriously how can we expect our children to? Divorce isn’t something to take lightly. There is a certain finality to it that I think is becoming blurred by our society. If there is a chance of getting back together in the future, then you really shouldn’t be getting divorced in the first place. Sending your children on that kind of an emotional roller coaster can be absolutely traumatizing. They need the stability. Like many young people getting divorced, I’m not sure my ex husband realized the gravity of the decision. Now, he’s realized that it wasn’t really what he wanted. So when he gets a glimpse of me moving on, it triggers pain and jealousy. Like most of us, when we are feeling emotions such as these we tend to lash out, even when they are the natural consequences of our own decisions.
So while things may be a bit stormy for a while, I’m looking forward to when it is calm again. It’s all just part of this roller coaster we call divorce.