Christmas is a time when many family memories are created and preserved. Unfortunately, there is a shadow side to Christmas that many of us would like to pretend does not exist. The things that happen on the dark side of Christmas tend to become family secrets or things that no one talks about and hopes will eventually be forgotten.
The dark side of Christmas can manifest in ways that range from the subtle to the impossible to ignore. Tensions that have lain dormant within families can be reignited by careless comments. In the very worst cases, things can get violent. In my work as an attorney, I have observed that around this time of year, there is an increase of complaints of spousal abuse and child abuse. What is thought by many to be a joyous time of year is stressful for many people. Financial stress is a large source of short tempers at this time of year, and alcohol and drug abuse and depression can come to the forefront when groups of people gather.
What can you do if you or someone that you know is experiencing the dark side of Christmas this year? First, know that you are not alone. Not everyone is able to have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year every year. Most people have at least one holiday memory that they would like to forget. Second, do not suffer in silence. Talk to a friend, call a counselor, or confide in your family. Many people are in a giving and helpful mood at this time of year, and talking about your problems with someone that you trust will help you feel better and may even help you to figure out how you can cope with whatever it is that is affecting you. If you are the victim of family violence, get help from the police immediately to protect your safety as well as the safety of others. If everything is going well for you, give thanks, and be sure to be on the lookout for friends, family, or neighbors that may be having a rough time this year. You never know when you may be called upon to be someone’s Christmas miracle in a way that has nothing to do with presents under the tree.