Eventually you are going to want to date again. When I first got divorced I thought I was ready to date but I quickly found out that neither Hailey or I was ready. So I stopped, it wasn’t hard, I wasn’t having that much fun anyway and dealing with a sullen child after one of my dates made it even less fun.
When you step back into the dating world you have to be prepared for the effect it will have on your relationship with your child. This is a very confusing time for kids, they still believe in happily ever after and want you to get back with their father. Every other man is a threat to this dream. Not to mention having to share you with a total stranger.
Start talking to your kids about the possibility of you dating long before it is an issue. Explain to them why you want to start dating and what you are looking for, if you are just looking for a friend, tell them that. If you are looking for something more permanent tell them that as well, but let them know that it may take a long time for you to find someone to share your life with so a date is just a date, not forever.
Answer all of their questions, if they feel that you have lied to them the resentment will surface later.
Be very careful about introducing your children to someone new. Bringing a strange man into their home can be intimidating and can make your children threatened. After you have been dating someone for a while and think the relationship might go farther is the time to introduce the kids, not after one or two dates.
A first meeting should be in a neutral place, if at all possible. If he has kids, maybe you can all meet at the park. The kids can run and play and get to know each other in a non threatening environment.
After that first meeting talk to the kids about their impression of this new person. What did they like? If they seem uncomfortable at all, take the time to explore that as well.
The most important things to remember are to go slowly and keep all of your appointments with your kids. They need to know they come first. If you always go to the library on Monday night, don’t let that change, after a while you can invite your new friend to come but the kids need to know that you still value your time with them.