There is an interesting dilemma taking place in our home with regard to my children’s friends. I always enjoy having them over and sometimes spending the night. I definitely prefer everyone hanging out here, where I can keep a better eye on things. But recently the issue of having friends sleep over has changed a bit.
My youngest son, who is in 7th grade, has friends that are either in his grade or 8th. A couple of those guy friends (who are in 8th grade) are also friends with my 9th grade daughter. I have no problem with her hanging out with guy friends. But I suddenly had a problem a month ago when one of them wanted to spend the night.
Suddenly the sleeping over thing is a bit more unsettling when you have teens and the opposite sex is involved. It’s hard to explain this to your child…they just think you are nuts (well, my children do).
Last month my son’s friend, who is in 8th grade and is also good friends with my daughter, wanted to spend the night. At first I didn’t think anything of it and said sure. But then as night approached, my husband and I talked and suddenly the idea of a 13-year-old boy sleeping in a room next door to our daughter felt unsettling (especially when our bedroom is on a different level of the house).
She thought we were more than nuts when we told her to lock her bedroom door before she went to sleep. “Mom, we are friends!” she protested. But she thinks like a teenager and well, we think like parents but remember what it was like to be a teenager.
Then a couple of weekends ago my son once again wanted another friend to spend the night who at one time liked my daughter. I still am not entirely sure if he has an interest in her but because of it, the only reason I let him spend the night was due to the fact that my daughter was gone all weekend.
I am beginning to think the days of letting friends sleep over might be coming to an end. What do you think about having friends over when you have a child close in age that is of the opposite sex?
Related Articles:
Establishing Boundaries with My Teen’s Friends
Teaching Teens about Friendships
Advantages to Having Your Teen’s Friends Over
Photo by Andrew Ratto in Flickr