In the forum we’ve been discussing the effect our parents have on us and the way we raise our children. It makes interesting reading.
The other day I finished reading ‘A Boy in Winter; by Maxine Chernoff. This book raises more questions than it answers. In it, a child accidentally shoots another child with a bow and kills him. It ends up telling the story through the eyes of Danny, the boy who did the shooting, Nancy his mother and Frank the father of the boy who had been shot and also Nancy’s lover.
In the course of the story it raises questions about who is responsible for the tragedy. Does blame and responsibility rest solely with the boy, Danny? Or is it the fault of Frank who gave his own son the bow and taught him and Danny how to use it? Or perhaps the fault of Danny’s mother who, after years of not allowing her son to have a toy gun, disregarded her own misgivings and let her son go hunting.
Then again, it could be traced even further back to Frank’s too strict parents who made him decide he would never be like that with his own children. The result was that perhaps he didn’t discipline his son when he should have and let him get away with too much. He blames himself for letting his son get away with inappropriate, naughty and anti-social behavior.
Sometimes, I think, that has happened in our society. Parents who have suffered a too strict upbringing, have gone too far the other way and refuse to discipline their children when they need it. Or they are too self-aborbed. Or perhaps simply not around but have abdicated responsibility to child care centers and other people, as author Mem Fox said recently.
Of course the opposite can also be true. A man or woman may have been so poorly parentedwhen they were children, they perpetuate that poor parenting with their own children and the cycle of neglect and poor relationships continues. A friend recently made this comment about some people she knew where she said ‘there have been three or four generations of bad parenting. Is it any wonder the kids have problems?’ I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this subject.
Thankfully those of us who are Christians don’t have to muddle through on our own. The bible has a lot to say about parenting and bringing up children. Have a look at Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21. Or look up children, parents and discipline in a concordance and you will find other verses.
Also like Lois and Eunice did with Timothy we need to 2 Timothy 1:5, 2 Timothy 3:15. That is the best and most helpful thing we can do in regard to parenting.
Please visit these related blogs
12 Suggestions for Raising Godly Children
Detachment vs Responsibility as a Parent
Friend or Parent to Your Child?
7 Tips For Christian Parenting
href=”http://christian.families.com/blog/grandparents-are-you-being-fair”>Grandparents Are You Being Fair?