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The End of a Tradition — Or, How the Lawyers Stole Kindergarten

A few years ago, I was teaching a freshman composition course which featured an essay called “How The Lawyers Stole Winter.” It was a thought-provoking piece about how we are so lawsuit-conscious in this country that we are simply putting out warning signs on everything – which reduces liability – rather than teaching our children about how to judge risk.

Note: I said judge risks, not take them.

His specific point concerned the NO SKATING – THIN ICE signs at a local pond, and how growing up he was taught by the older kids how to tell if the ice was thick enough to skate over, but the main theme was that children have to learn how to judge when a given situation is safe or is not. All the signs do is prevent children from developing risk assessment skills.

Well, I don’t really mean to suggest that lawyers have stolen kindergarten, exactly. But I am going to mourn the loss of a great tradition that begins in kindergarten: the trading of food at lunch time.

My oldest just informed me this morning that she and all her classmates are no longer allowed to trade or share food with one another.

The reason for this is obvious. There are more food allergies than most parents know how to deal with, much less their children. And it is unreasonable to expect a five- or six-year old to say no to a candy bar even if it might contain something that could cause a rash, or a stomach ache, or even death. And my girls do have some food allergies, though nothing potentially fatal. So I understand that it’s a necessary policy.

I do remember the trading of sandwiches when I was a kid, the sharing of snacks – potato chips, pretzels, bite-sized chocolate treats you got at Halloween. It’s one of the treasured memories for a child, who learns about new foods and the concept of trading. And it’s also a great way to make friends.

But of course, we would not want to be the ones who killed our classmates with a peanut butter sandwich.

My children do know they have allergies. And they both have been able to tell people who have offered them food that they are allergic to certain things. But it’s not always easy, especially for my youngest, who still wants the same kind of mac and cheese her sister has, but can’t due to her lactose intolerance. You can’t really rely on them to be able to say no, and you certainly can’t ask them to check the labels of everything they are offered.

As they get older, I hope that my daughters and their friends are able to make the right choices regarding food allergies, and be able to share and trade food at the cafeteria by the time they are in, say second or third grade. I hope they will read labels carefully for their health. It’s important that they are aware as early as possible.

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About T.B. White

lives in the New York City area with his wife and two daughters, 6 and 3. He is a college professor who has written essays about Media and the O.J. Simpson case, Woody Allen, and other areas of popular culture. He brings a unique perspective about parenting to families.com as the "fathers" blogger. Calling himself "Working Dad" is his way of turning a common phrase on its head. Most dads work, of course, but like many working moms, he finds himself constantly balancing his career and his family, oftentimes doing both on his couch.