Today as I was sitting in one of my classes the women behind me got on the topic of single mothers. The semester just started on Monday so we are all still trying to get to know each other. Most of them don’t know that I am divorced and a single parent myself. While I’m not ashamed of this, it’s not something I tend to bring up in regular conversation. As they were talking one of the girls made a comment that really hit home. She said, “Good guys just don’t date single moms. The bad ones will, but the good ones can always find something better.” Do we really think that little of ourselves? I’m sure this woman meant no harm in her comment, but I was still a little shocked by it.
As single mothers, too often the reason the “bad guys” start coming around is because we are selling ourselves short. We tell ourselves that we can’t get better and so we don’t. This is the biggest fallacy. Just because you are a single mother doesn’t make you any less desirable. At times it may seem limiting. Some men aren’t ready to take on all of the responsibilities that come with dating a single mother and that is ok. If that is the case, then you wouldn’t really want to be with them anyway. It takes a special kind of man to be with someone who already has children. The dynamics of the relationship are definitely different when there are children involved, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t good men out there that wouldn’t be thrilled to be with you.
Quit selling yourself short! Being a single parent doesn’t make you any less of a catch. You still have so much to offer. Don’t settle because you feel like you can’t get anything better. I have a little secret for you…you can!