Did you have a fantasy “ideal” of the sort of parent you imagined yourself to be long before you ever had kids? Did you formulate a fantasy mom or dad as you were waiting for the arrival of your child or embarking on the adventure or parenthood? I did. While I didn’t have an absolutely “set” vision of the mother I imagined myself to be—I certainly had a vision of the fantasy mom I was going to become, and boy, did I look good!
My fantasy mom was really like a hip, updated version of Shirley Partridge (she was the sassy single mom on the “Partridge Family” in the early seventies)—she’d been my favorite as a girl. I much preferred the Partridge mom to the Brady Bunch Mom or really any other mom on television (although I did really like Grandma Walton too). So, in my fantasy, I was going to be all independent and flexible—raising a nice, largish brood of talented kids who talked to me about their lives and asked me to join the band. I’d wear the cool sunglasses and have the fashionable, yet very age-appropriate wardrobe. Yep, my fantasy mom was something to aspire to.
Of course, she was also a fantasy! I probably carry around some big chunks of Shirley Partridge in the mom I actually evolved into. But, there’s definitely some of my own mother and my grandmothers, a teacher or two, and I would have to admit, some of crusty, direct, Grandma Walton too. I listen as my kids tell me all the things they are NOT going to do when they become parents and what their ideas are about the “perfect mom” and the “perfect dad.” I guess they are formulating their personal fantasy parent in their minds too. Boy, will they be surprised when snippets of me sneak in there!
How about you? Who was your fantasy mom or dad? Did you manage to keep pieces of him or her alive in the parent you turned out to be?