It was the middle of July, 2004, and Isaiah had come home to be with his four brothers. We now had been through one adoption with his birth mother from start to finish so I thought that I knew what to expect. She would refuse to sign a relinquishment of her rights until a few days before the one year deadline, knowing all along that she would do it then. That way she could have visits with Isaiah until then. At least, that is what she had done before.
We started the visits and they were fairly routine. This time around, the social worker for the state was wonderful. She was energetic and very competent. She supervised the meetings with Lola. They went a lot smoother when someone in authority was there.
Several months later, Lola really surprised me. She had stayed sober for a while. She was working with counselors at a drug rehab clinic. They were telling her that they would get her a job and fight for her to get to keep Isaiah. That seems like such a long shot but it was scary.
She had seen the movie, “Losing Isaiah”. The movie was about a crack addict who had a baby and accidentally left him in a trash heap. When she remembered the baby, a garbage truck had picked up the trash. She assumed that the child was dead, but he had been found and adopted by someone. The mother later sobers up and takes the adoptive family to court and wins her child back. It is a very difficult movie to watch for anyone that has adopted a child, but had to go through the system first.
That is why she named him Isaiah and now she was going to stay sober and marry the man that she thought had fathered him. He was due to be released from prison and was going along with the plan. She had it all mapped out. She was taking parenting and anger management classes. She was also in alcohol and drug rehab. Of course, she was doing all this in anticipation of demanding a trial for his custody.
The social worker for the state was well aware that Lola was not able to care for a child, even when sober. I noticed that she started documenting how Lola was doing on our family visits. She asked Lola what she had learned in parenting classes. Lola had learned that she should not hit a baby and that she should count to ten when she got mad.
We always had Lola feed the baby and change dirty diapers. She would frequently get frustrated, even with us watching. One time, she had given him a bottle and it was time to burp him. I handed her a cloth diaper to put on her shoulder. She looked at the diaper for a minute and put it on top of his head.
We always knew that Isaiah was going to be ours. Having to go through all of this did give us something to worry about.
Related Blogs:
The Fight for Isaiah, Round Two