One thing you hear a lot as a single parent is, “ I don’t know how you do it.” My answer is always, you would be surprised what you can do when you have to.
When it first became apparent that divorce might not be just something that happened to other people, I started looking at my options. I remember crying because the only place I could afford to live was a place I wouldn’t live.
I decided right then I need to make some changes in my life. I had always believed that my income was “extra”, my husband supported us and I paid for the extras we wanted. I never really tried to further my career, I was a wife and mother first.
After finding out what my expenses would be if I got divorced I changed my work habits. I worked harder, applied for a better paying job within my company and got promoted. I knew then if I got divorced I could support Hailey and myself.
In some ways I was lucky, my divorce was a long time coming. I had warning so I was able to prepare. Some people are not so lucky.
If you are one of the unlucky ones all you can do is take it one step at a time. Find a way to make more money, take a class, learn a new skill, anything that will allow you to support your children.
Even with advance notice, it wasn’t easy. I didn’t have a car, or furniture, or even towels. I basically left my marriage with my clothes, Hailey’s belongings and some personal items. I had to completely start over.
It was hard. Some days I thought I should go back, and then I would remember what I was teaching my daughter by staying in an emotionally abusive marriage and my resolve got stronger.
I don’t think it’s ever easy to get divorced. In addition to all the financial aspects you are emotionally drained and dealing with children who are confused, scared and a little lost.
It does get easier, not right away, but eventually. The first steps are the hardest, but you can do it and you will be stronger for it.