I recently read a book written by Katrina Kenison, “The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother’s Memoir.” I first heard about it through one of the blogs I subscribe to. What immediately appealed to me was that it was about a mother facing that stage of life in which she is learning to let go of her teenagers.
However there was more to the story than that. It was also about a mother’s quest to simplify her life. The family makes a couple of moves that are impacting in a variety of ways.
They end up moving from what we may consider to be their “white picket fence” suburban home to a dilapidated shell of a house, to moving in with the in-laws and then eventually replacing the run-down house with a new one.
I appreciated her quest for enjoying those ordinary moments that we tend to take for granted. As she says at one point in the book, “How in fact life is not all about planning and shaping, but about not knowing, and being okay with that. It’s about learning to take the moment that comes and make the best of it, without any idea of what’s going to happen next.”
This really resonated with me because I am a planner. I don’t like to just see what happens. I have to know ahead of time what the plan is. I am notorious for grilling my children with questions like, “What time? Where? Who?” You get the picture.
This book taught me that it’s okay to not know things…to just enjoy the moment that is at hand and
not worry so much about the next one. She also says, “Instead of mourning the passage of time, I want to live with a sense of abundance in the here and now, knowing that what we have is exactly enough.”
I didn’t realize how much this got inside me until earlier this week when I was posting on Facebook about how my oldest son had turned 18. I accompanied that post with three pictures of him as a baby and toddler.
One of my good friends commented and asked if I was crying as I posted those pictures. I think before reading that book, I probably would have been. But instead I was just appreciating and relishing the moment. I was actually able to celebrate him turning 18, instead of mourning it.
Another huge lesson I learned came from this part of the book: “But in all our well-intentioned efforts to do the right thing for our teenage children, we may be failing to provide them with something is truly essential—the time and space they need to wake up to themselves, to grow acquainted with their own innate gifts, to dream their dreams and discover their true natures.”
We have to let our teenagers become who they are meant to be…yes, even if it doesn’t fit in with our plans or ideals. They need the opportunity to learn what they are gifted for and how to pursue those dreams they are passionate about.
I highly recommend this book to any parent with teenagers, or even those who are seeking to enjoy the ordinary moments of life.
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