Heredity is a funny thing–and I am not just talking about genetic inheritance either–but all those quirks, personality traits, tendencies, and values that tend to run in families. It does not even have to be a biological relation. Each family has its own “culture”–just like a work environment, church, or community–and it can be interesting to look over both the good and the bad of what sort of things run in the family…
One of my daughters said once that “divorce runs in my family”–with grandparents and great-grandparents and her own parents, she was right in noticing that she doesn’t come from a marriage-till-death family culture on either side of her genetic lineage. This isn’t necessarily good or bad as far as I am concerned. As far as she’s concerned, she likes it–it gives our family depth and expansion and sets a culture for making room and accepting new people in regardless of the age or circumstance.
Some families are strong communicators and hash everything out as it happens, while others sweep things under the rug. Some families thrive on crude jokes while others don’t allow discussion of bodily functions or other such things. While we inherit some of what “runs in our family”–we do have some control over whether we want to keep things, add new, or discard some of those tendencies and values all together.
Recognizing what “runs in the family” can create a feeling of continuance and bonding–or it can also make a person feel branded and trapped–like he or she can’t break away from family tradition to find his or her own way. But, we do have some control and we can keep the stuff that serves us, and find ways to add in new family quirks, traits, and tendencies to make our families even better.
Also: Expecting Kids to Be Reactionary
Keep Personal Experience in Perspective