I wish I had a dollar for every single doctor, dentist and orthopedic appointment that I have had to take my three children to. What the heck, throw in there the number of times we have had to go to the emergency room and let me tell you, I would have a hefty amount.
I have always been a stay-at-home mom. When I finally did go back to work it was always working in a school so I would be off when my children were off (which includes the summer) and I always worked part-time hours. Now I work from home so needless to say I have always been available to my children.
So this week my youngest son had a dentist appointment. It was on a day my husband happened to have off. I thought that worked out great because I had received a lot of work that week and was finding myself having to work long after dinner hours. I didn’t want to face another long night so I asked my husband if he could take my son.
Now mind you, my husband has never taken one of our children to an appointment all by himself. I thought he wouldn’t care for the idea but he was eager to help out. Much to my surprise it was my 6th grader who would put up a fuss. He just couldn’t believe that I wasn’t taking him to the appointment. It wasn’t enough that his dad was taking him; he wanted me to come along too.
Now of course I find that very touching. I appreciate that he wants me there but at the same time I knew that I had work to do and my husband was perfectly capable of handling this task. My son’s response to my not going was to ignore me. My husband tried not to fuel things but he kept making remarks about how upset our son was.
I tried to explain to my son that he would be fine. I have taken him to every single appointment he has ever had in his life but this time I really need to finish my work. So I went back downstairs to my office and sat down to work. But I suddenly found it difficult because guess what started creeping up? Guilt.
I started feeling guilty, the old guilty mother syndrome. I was a bad mom because I wasn’t going to be there for my son. I was a bad mom because I was putting my work before him. I was a bad mom because I wasn’t appreciating the fact that he cares enough to want me there. Ooh, I hate guilty mother syndrome.
It strikes at the most inopportune times and can really plague you. But I said to myself that it was ridiculous to feel guilty. I am always there for my children. This is just a simple dentist appointment. Why should I feel guilty? What would they do if I worked outside the home and couldn’t leave my place of employment?
I was almost ready to give in to the guilt but I didn’t. My husband doesn’t have to battle these feelings when he is at work while I am taking our children to appointments. My children know I am there for them; however there comes a time when I have to do what I have to do.
In the end I stayed home and after they left, I went back to my work fighting those nagging feelings of guilt. My son was obviously no longer mad at me because he sent me a text when he was done and said it went fine. He came home in great spirits and gave me a kiss.
I guess it doesn’t matter what age your children are or where in your station of life you are…the guilty mother syndrome is always there ready to creep up on you.
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