If your house is anything like mine, you’ve got children who like to test the waters, meaning, misbehaving just enough to see what they can get away with. It’s a natural part of childhood. We all did it and some of us are still doing it. Our job, as parents, is to help children learn the lessons that come along with this type of behavioral experimentation, and one of the ways we can do that is to sit and read a book about that behavior.
The “Help Me Be Good” series by Joy Berry is a delightful set of books that are specifically targeted toward common misbehaviors of children. Some of these are: being bossy, being rude, complaining, interrupting, lying, snooping, and whining. There are thirty books in all. I only have twenty-nine – believe it or not, the book on being destructive was destroyed. It was very ironic.
Joy Berry uses cute illustrations of her characters and their pets to make her point. In the book called “Fighting,” her main characters are T.J. and his sister Tami. When we open the book flat, the left side is the narrative voice, or the more instructional side, and the right side shows cartoons of T.J. and Tami and shows us their dialogue.
For instance, we start on the left side and read:
This book is about T.J. and his sister Tami. Reading about T.J. and Tami can help you understand and deal with fighting.
On the right, we see T.J. and Tami with their hands on their hips, yelling.
Tami: You never play fair!
T.J: Me? You’re the one who doesn’t play fair!
And down at the bottom of the page, we see a little mouse thinking, “Uh-oh!”
As the book goes on, the narrative voice explains that some people use their bodies to show that they are angry, and they do this by kicking and punching. It also points out that sometimes things get damaged too. Then it says, “Never do anything to hurt yourself or another person. Never damage or destroy things.” After making sure the child understands that these impulses are natural, the book plainly states that these behaviors are not acceptable.
Then we go on to read about ways to control that anger. We can stay away from people who make us angry. We can avoid fighting by not playing too roughly. We can spend time with a variety of people because when you spend too much time with just one person, you tend to fight a lot. We can walk away and refuse to fight with someone who tries to fight with us.
By the end of the book, T.J. and Tami have learned to control their anger and get along better without fighting, and the mouse is much relieved.
I have found this series to be very helpful in my own family, and I believe it could be an asset in nearly any home with children. Unless, of course, your children are naturally perfect and you’re one of those parents with glistening white teeth and a spotlessly clean car.
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