I realized this morning that my family scene is forever fluctuating–the house empties out, gradually fills, or fills to bursting in a very short time. It is not a quiet and predictable place most days, but it is also not as chaotic and loud as it used to be when my children were younger. There are elements of unpredictability about it now, but there is also an ebb and flow that living in a house with older teenagers brings…
When my children were younger, we had very organized parenting agreements between their father–they would be with me during the weeks and then pack their bags and head to dad’s for the weekend. It was very predictable and shocking for me to get used to a full and busy house and then a completely empty one. I do think that getting used to being on my own in the midst of parenting was a bit of a gift though. That periodic empty house gave me a chance to reconnect with myself and learn how to enjoy my own company, organize my time when I wasn’t being a mom, and build up parts of my life that were not kid-connected. All in all, it made me a better mom.
Now that my kids are older, there seems to always be at least one who is here or on the way here and usually more than that. Our little house swells to capacity and sometimes it isn’t until I start to hear doors open and shut, showers turn on, and toilets flush in the morning that I can get a feel for how many bodies there are in the house and wonder if I’ve got enough milk to handle the demand.
I know that they day will come when I will have stretches of empty-house–at least I anticipate that will be the case although I’m starting to wonder. Meanwhile, the realities of family life for me mean a constant coming and going and coming together of a very delightful group of people.
Also: Empty Nest Syndrome for the Single Parent