It was really brought home to me once again recently the absolute importance of encouragement. Yes, I know I sound like a broken record (showing my age there!) but I after experiencing quite the opposite recently, I felt very deflated. No, it wasn’t Mick but a friend.
By the time I’d been on the receiving end of a string of negative comments, I ended up wondering why I had bothered. Beth has covered this topic before in regard to toxic friends who undermine and leave you feeling bad about yourself.
The thing is, I’m not sure the person even realized the effect those negative comments were having. I’d like to think that was the case. But I ended up feeling like a balloon which had been deflated. When I told Mick afterwards some of the comments that were delivered, he could see my point and understand why I felt so down.
Imagine what that sort of toxic friend behavior could have in a marriage. Imagine living with someone who is always negative and putting you down. Who is only too ready to criticize. It’s going to have an effect on your self esteem and mental health, which could in turn affect your physical health. Such attitudes can lead to depression, obesity as people overeat for comfort, and further marriage problems or divorce.
This is why it’s so important to be encouraging and affirming of our spouse and as Mary Ann said, show appreciation for the things they do. It’s too easy to fall into the grumbling attitude where every comment comes out as negative or as a criticism. All of us like to know we are appreciated and that someone thinks we are special.
Mary Ann’s blog only highlighted the importance of watching what we say and how we say it. So let’s this week each try and find ways to each day to let our spouse know how much they are appreciated, to encourage, compliment them and affirm them. Our marriages could be at stake.
Related blogs
Top Tips for Commincating Effectively
Part 2 of Top Tips for Communicating Effectively
A Destructive Element in Marriage