Some people are blessed with absolutely wonderful in-laws who never make a comment regardless of your decisions. They completely respect your parenting boundaries and even if they disagree with you, they’d back you up. Then there are other in-laws who believe that you are single-handedly ruining their grandchildren by home schooling them. Here are a few tips for dealing with those types of in-laws:
1. Show them research.
There is tons of research out there that demonstrates the superiority of a home education. Home educated kids are better socialized, better prepared for college, and score better on standardized tests.
2. Remember whose kids these are.
The decision on how to educate your children rests on your shoulders. As with anything within a marriage, you can and should set boundaries. One boundary can be that they must respect your decision to home school–even if they don’t agree with it.
3. Agree to Disagree
I think we moms tend to take it personally when someone doesn’t like our home schooling. After all, it’s our blood sweat and tears poured into teaching our children. Don’t take it personally, and agree, that it is okay to disagree in this instance. Then don’t bring it up again!
4. The Proof Is In the Pudding
My own children are only ages 7, 5, 3, and 1. There is obviously not a lot of school years behind them. And yet, as my in-laws watch them, they see the benefits of a home education. My kids are more excited about learning and while they may not know everything that their publicly schooled cousins know, they know a whole lot of things that their cousins don’t know. It’s not a competition, but some cold hard proof is helpful to demonstrate that you’re not ruining the children.
5. Don’t Talk About It
I know from my own experience that sometimes the topic is unavoidable. Our schedule is essentially flexible because we are not bound by school vacation. However, the less you bring it up, the less it will be an issue.
All in all, one thing that has helped me, (and my in-laws are fairly supportive), is to remember that these are their grandchildren and they dearly love them. Anytime my in-laws may comment on something we’ve done that they disagree with, I really believe they’re motivated by wanting the best for their grandchildren. It is likely that even yours do too!
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