Have you met this baby? She’s smart, she’s sassy and she doesn’t want your help. Oh, she wasn’t born independent – though she started exhibiting signs pretty soon. She didn’t want a pacifier; in fact she was probably pretty insulted when she figured out that it was empty and a really poor substitute for the real thing.
As time went on, she began to exhibit other symptoms of her independent nature. She refused food after she discovered a new flavor. She didn’t want to sleep in her bed, even after she learned how. She preferred to sleep in your bed or on the sofa. She likely wanted to sit up right away and it was just frustrating as all get out when she needed your help.
More signs of independence came when she started to explore the world around her. She wanted to get to her own toys; she certainly didn’t want them handed to her. If you handed them to her, she probably lost interest and wanted something else that was out of reach.
There were lots of times when she didn’t want your attention. She wanted to play her way, doing her things. If you were present, she either ignored you or complained about it. But if the shoe were on the other foot, she may not care too much for the idea that you have other things on your mind. In fact, when she wants your attention – you best give it. She’ll fuss, knock herself out being cute or drum up some other drama. It doesn’t matter what, as long as it works.
Over time, her independence will have her refusing your hands to walk, instead she’ll hold onto everything else. She won’t want your help with food. She’ll want to do it herself. She won’t want you to get her dressed, no matter how much she has to struggle.
It can be hard to be a parent to an independent baby. They react in unexpected ways. They demand a lot from you. You have to know when to step up and when to step back. You have to be willing to let them fall and you have to know when to catch them.
On those rare occasions when they reach out for help, putting aside their own independent nature – you have to be right there and take their hand. The independent baby can be a trial, but in time you’ll both reap rich rewards.