Are you an interfering in-law or have you ever been on the receiving end of comments and the not so welcome actions or advice from interfering in-laws. It is something that can certainly be a problem. It can also be a fine line too between helping and interfering.
Part of it may well come back to the relationship between the in-laws and the married couple in question. What can be seen as help sometimes from one person, may be viewed as interference by another.
I recently heard of one grandparent who interfered in the upbringing of her grandchild by taking the child’s part against the parents and helping make to defy the parents. I was horrified that any grandparent would behave in such a manner. That sort of attitude makes it difficult for family relationships and can, if you are not careful, cause problems for the couple in the marriage.
Just because a person is older and may have had more experience with children after having raised their own family, doesn’t make them an expert. As I watch my daughter and her husband with their baby, I would never dream of interfering and offering advice unless asked. In my view, they know their own child and her needs better than I do. They know whether the child needs sleep, whether she needs as dummy or not, whether she just needs a little bit of cry time before she settles to sleep.
I would certainly never go and pick a baby up out of the cot if he or she is crying, without checking firstly if this is okay with the parents and whether they want me to do that or to leave the child. But I have seen grandparents do this, or even take a sleeping baby out of the cot so they can have a cuddle. Another no no as far as I am concerned. Yet some people seem to think that is their right, simply because they are grandparents. In my mind this is not being fair to the parents or the child either. Grandparents need to abide by the rules and guidelines set by parents for their child.
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