Many adoptive parents-to-be find that it is helpful to write during the wait. It provides the chance to vent about your feelings, to rejoice in small victories and mostly just to memorialize this special time in your life.
There are a number of different ways to keep a record of your adoption, but here are a few of my favorites:
Keep A Journal For Your Child
There is an awesome novel by James Patterson that is called “Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas”. The entire book is a diary that a mother wrote for her son from the moment she found out that she was pregnant. I decided to do the same thing for our adoption. Within a few days of our “official” decision to adopt, I began my journal to our baby. I told him how much we loved him and how we couldn’t wait to meet him. I told him how much joy he had already brought to our lives, even though we didn’t know if he had even been born yet. As we have continued through the process, I have kept the journal updated. It is my hope that our child will be able to read it some day and see how much he was loved and wanted.
Keep A Personal Journal
A journal for your child is wonderful, but also there is this thought in the back of your mind that you can’t be completely open. You know that your child is going to be reading this book, so you don’t want to let your frustration with the adoption process to come out on the pages. Many adoptive parents find that it is helpful to keep two journals – one for their child and one that is personal. The personal journal is where you can rant that you haven’t gotten an update in two months or that your paperwork has to be re-done because the attorney made a mistake. You can record your feelings about adoption – how you are nervous and excited and terrified. On those days when you wonder what in the world you were thinking, you can record that too.
Begin a Lifebook or Adoption Scrapbook
You can begin a book for your child telling them the story of how they came home. Jayden’s book starts out with a page that says, “Once there was a man and a woman who wanted a baby very much. They prayed and asked God for a baby, but God said ‘wait’”. Jayden’s book goes on to talk about how he was born in Guatemala and his birth mother made an adoption plan for him. It records our excitement at receiving his referral and our joy that he will be a part of our family. As we receive pictures and updates, I put those in Jayden’s book. I also talk about the adoption process in simple language that I hope will make sense to him as he grows older and begins to wonder about how he came to us.
Whether you use one of these methods, all of them or even some that I haven’t mentioned, the important thing is to keep a record. Even though the wait seems so long and so frustrating, you will also look back on it and remember the excitement and anticipation you felt. Both you and your child will enjoy reading about this time in your lives and how much adoption meant to you.