Today is the day that we have been waiting for. Today is Rebecca’s last visitation with her biological mother. This day has me a little emotional. I was worried about how hard it would be for the biological mother to say good-bye forever to her daughter. I don’t know if she will show any emotions as so far she has never cried, smiled or showed any sign of emotion when either being handed her daughter or when she handed her back to the case workers.
I tried to put myself in the biological mother’s shoes and I cannot even begin to think of how hard today must be for her. Even though I barely know her my heart is aching for her. I know that this is for the best for the Rebecca but I think it is going to be hard to watch.
When the visitation began there were surprisingly no tears. The mother sat there in a rocking chair holding Rebecca. She played for a little while with some baby toys, changed a diaper and that is about it. I was expecting tears and having her talk to Rebecca telling her things (even though she would not understand it). I expected her to talk to Rebecca telling her good-bye, but there was nothing.
When her time was coming to a close for the visitation to end the case workers gave her a 15 minute warning and still no emotions. When she handed Rebecca to me for the last time still showed no emotions. I just don’t get it, I was crying inside for her loss but she seemed so cold. I don’t know if it was defense mechanisms for her or what. Had she gotten so used to feeling bad with her abusive husband that she can’t show emotions when she says good-bye to her daughter for the last time?