No one said parenting is an easy gig. It’s not. However, when the world around you is imploding and you’re being sucked into the abyss of bubbling carnage, kids can often become a welcome lifeline.
Sometimes all it takes is a few simple words from my young daughter to rescue me from the pool of worldly worries that writher, froth and churn just below the surface. No matter how many balls I am juggling — badly — it’s hard to remain focused on the negative when you have a little one around delivering zingers worthy of an Art Linkletter special.
Here are just a few of my favorites:
After dinner conversation with my then 2-year-old upon hearing that we don’t have any more of her favorite blueberries:
Her: More booberries.
Me: Sorry honey, you ate all the blueberries.
Her: MORE booberries!
Me: We don’t have any more blueberries, sweetie.
Her: MORE BOOBERRIES!!
Me: T, if you want more blueberries I am going to have to leave you, change my clothes, get in the car, drive to the grocery store, buy the berries and drive back.
Her: Bye-bye, Mommy.
My daughter at four after seeing a rotting frog carcass on the side of the road:
Me: UGH! I think that’s a dead frog.
Her: Let me see!
Me: Don’t get too close.
Her (inching up to the dead frog): Ewww, Mommy, I’m so grossed up!
My daughter at five walking behind me as I type out an article on the computer:
Her: Softly giggling
Me: Wondering what’s going on but working under deadline, so resist the temptation to ask questions.
Her: Soft giggles turn into hysterical laughter.
Me: On the verge of turning around to see what’s going on.
Her: “Mommy… hehehehe… Mommy, I have to tell you something funny I told myself.”
Bringing out presents to place under our just decorated Christmas tree:
Me: Okay, get ready!
Her: Should I turn off my eyes?
Conversation with 5-year-old after finding out from TV weather guy that the day’s high won’t get above 10 degrees:
Me: Whoa! Today is going to be a cold one. Definitely a long underwear day.
Her: Yeah, cuz if you wear short panties you’ll freeze your butt off.
Surveying tray of baked goods brought over by neighbor for my then 4-year-old on her birthday:
Me: Wow, look at all of these yummy desserts! I think I’ll try this cream puff.
Her: Actually, that’s for the birthday girl.
Me: Well, maybe I’ll have a cupcake.
Her: Actually, that’s for the birthday girl too.
Me: Okay, I’ll just have this cookie.
Her: Actually, Mommy, the whole tray is for the birthday girl.
Me: I can’t have anything?
Her: You can have this napkin.
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