I know a lot of couples that expect that marriage means you don’t do anything unless you are doing it with your spouse. They believe that marriage means that you do everything together and your individual pursuits evaporate because you are married. The truth is, when you marry someone, you create an identity that is larger than both of you.
Because it is larger than both of you that means you both maintain a certain degree of your individual lives and pursuits. After all, you had those before you were married and you were both attracted to the items you both brought into the marriage as well as the commonalities you shared.
Your Personal Dedication
When you understand that you will both maintain a certain amount of independence even as you are devoting your lives to each other. This is a time of balancing needs, desires and wants. It can be quite easy in the beginning; most couples want to spend a great deal of their time together.
However, if you both work – you will continue with your careers. If one or both of you are seeking to get a college degree, you will both continue with school. You will continue to make individual decisions that affect you personally as well as the two of you as a couple.
How Does You Having an Individual Life Impact Your Couplehood?
Personal happiness is key to any successful relationship. If you or your spouse is tired, resentful, stressed or otherwise upset – it will color not only your perceptions of your relationship, but also how you feel about yourself.
The simple truth is – as much as we may want to put our happiness on other people – we are the source of our happiness. When we are happy and satisfied, we find and share that happiness with our spouses. When we are unhappy and dissatisfied, we share that unhappiness and we find that dissatisfaction in our spouse.
We’re going to talk more about personal happiness over the next couple of weeks, as it is a key factor in marriage. It’s especially important for those who are looking for a long-term loving relationship to realize that the idea of someone else cannot provide them with a joy they do not feel inside themselves.
In the meanwhile, what brings you a sense of joy?
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