Many years ago, I was at the turning point of becoming religous. It was undoutably, a phase I was going through but it was also more than that.
In a spiritual journey that took more than fifteen years trying to understand laws of Kashrut and Gemmara, I think I have come to understand that Judaism is a cyclical process of giving. I guess it is also part of my nature: I need to give back in order to nurture my soul from within.
Today marks fourteen years of the passing of Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson of righteous memory. In 1993, I saw him from a crowded window and felt an infusion of pure spiritual energies that was at the time, inexplicable. Those same spiritual energies came and went again when i studied various parts or ‘helekim” of Yemima Avital’s teachings.
I grew up in a secular Jewish environment which was largely influenced by Yeshiva teachings. I spent the majority of the Jewish holidays at Orthodox synagogues in both Manhattan and Far Rockaway. At my grandmother’s house in Far Rockaway, I received the code of behavior – “no jumping on the beds” and “keeping quiet on Shabbat.” I knew that the holidays were special but I wanted to know how special. These were messages of order and I intuitively, wanted more.
Now I know. It’s all a process of giving. For me, every day is a journey of mitzvahs. But I do believe in a special concentrated effort to do more than that. Once a week, I take all my canned and boxed foods and bring it to the nice lady downstairs. I volunteer my time with a non-profit literacy organization called “Beginning with Books” and read to young children who don’t have access to books. I pray for my mother who has Alzheimer’s every day. I am now in the process of building a community of new and seasoned teachers alike.
Both me and my husband try to bring this message to my child. We hope one day he understands the message of giving back too.