Sadly, I cannot remember the name of this wonderful woman who came to see me. She was a part of a mother and child business name. She came in and she sat down and we talked and talked and talked. After I explained to her what I was experiencing, she walked me through another trial run of trying to get the baby to nurse.
We knew the baby could suck, because she sucked on bottles like a pro, so what was her issue with nursing. After about an hour, we were sitting back at the table, the baby cradled in my arms and the specialist offered me her advice and recommendations. The problem, she believed, was that the nipple was too large. My daughter’s mouth was too small.
I am not too proud to say that that advice did not make me feel better.
However, she then told me that it might take some practice for the baby to get the hang of it. In the meanwhile, since she didn’t seem able to latch and I was equally determined that I wanted to breast feed her, the lactation specialist advised a breast pump. I could express the breast milk and give it to her in bottles.
She called it meeting the baby on the mid-ground.
I couldn’t really afford to buy a breast pump; at least I didn’t think I could. The specialist chuckled at me and then told me that she could lease me one for a fairly inexpensive price for several months. Six, I believe was the number. Her breast pump was an industrially strong one and used in hospitals. She had several that she could lease to mothers who wanted to be able to express milk when they couldn’t nurse for whatever reasons.
Okay, I’d try it.
She came back a few hours later (I thought this was fantastic, I didn’t have to wait long for it at all) and I got my first lesson in using the breast pump. She advised me to encourage my daughter to nurse every single time I was going to pump. I should give her as much as fifteen minutes of trying before giving her a bottle, it would encourage her to keep attempting to latch because there would be a reward at some point in the future.
We also used bottles with a flatter, wider nipple to teach her as well. In the next 24 hours, I expressed milk, attempted to nurse, and then rewarded her with a bottle. Ultimately, my daughter never did learn to latch and while I admit to a great deal of disappointment over that – she did get breast milk. For the first six and a half months of her life, I would pump, fill bottles and feed her.
It wasn’t the ideal way, but the miracle of the breast pump meant that even though she couldn’t nurse, she was getting the benefits anyway. It was a fair enough exchange – and it helped to reduce my sense of personal failure and depression over it. I know lots of mothers now use breast pumps –especially when they are working – in order to keep their children on breast milk.
My nephew, born six months ago today is another breast milk fed baby and his mother pumps six times a day, at home and at work. He’s never had formula – she wasn’t keen on the pumping idea at first – but it’s really proved to be a lifesaver for both of them. So if you experience problems with latching or you just have to work – consider a breast pump, those fifteen-minute sessions will provide a boon for both of you. I know they did for me.