One thing I never thought I would have to deal with when Hailey was born was another woman coming into her life and either trying to keep her dad away or trying to be her mom. The part about trying to be her mother doesn’t really bother me, Hailey and I have a great relationship and I figure all kids need more people to love them and care about their well being. So as far as I’m concerned my ex husbands girlfriends can exercise their maternal instinct with my daughter to their hearts content.
It’s the other scenario that bugs me to death. My ex husband has been dating a woman for three years who has no children. At first I thought this might be a good thing, there would be no comparing his kids to her kids, no favoritism. This arrangement works well for Hailey’s younger sister. They started dating right before Ivy was born so she has been a part of Ivy’s life since birth and she loves and dotes on that little girl. With Hailey it’s a different story. It’s almost as if she is jealous of Hailey.
For the past three years Hailey has spent very little time with her father, because his girlfriend is always there. I’ve talked to Hailey about this, they live together, Michele will always be there. The part that bothers Hailey is that if she wants to talk to her father and they go into another room, Michele will follow.
This is Hailey’s fathers fault. He didn’t set clear boundaries and expectations. When our children want to talk to us about something important, which can be rare when they are teenagers, they don’t want an audience. As a result Hailey spends less and less time with her father.
This woman even went as far as to try to keep Hailey’s father from attending her birthday/graduation party because one of his ex girlfriends was going to be there. Michele came to my house and tried to get me to uninvite this woman because Steve would not miss the party. Now this other woman, Steve’s ex girlfriend, and Hailey have a wonderful relationship. Why should I censor who is in Hailey’s life because his current girlfriend is insecure?
Ladies, if you are going to date a man with children, remember, the kids were there first, you knew about them going into the relationship, and their time with their father should always be a priority.