Mary’s article about loving an angry man made for interesting reading. But I guess it depends largely on how that anger is expressed or not expressed as the case may be.
For example years ago, back in the dawn of time, before I met Mick (in other words when I was a young teenager) I went out with a young guy who had anger issues. He’d come from a dysfunctional family and as a result he had never learned within that family how to deal with anger in a constructive way.. The trouble was when he was angry, he didn’t let it out. He didn’t confront me or whoever the person he was angry with. Instead he went quiet, refusing to talk. What I would call sulking.
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a person who sulks, retreats and won’t talk about the problem. The sulk can go on for days or for weeks. I knew a relationship between us was never going to work for that reason. We simply weren’t suited, so it was better to end it then before we caused each other heartache.
Some time back a man who has been married many years said the sulks and not talking was a problem when he and his wife first married. It not only went only longer that it should but those involved carried resentment and bitterness afterwards, largely because the issue was never dealt with properly. They had to find a better solution. For their marriage’s sake they did.
I admit I’d much rather have it out than smoldering around inside for goodness knows how long.
Most people I know would say Mick is easy going and that’s true. That doesn’t mean he never gets angry. Both of us are the type though that if we are angry it’s not going to be smoldering inside while we are in a sulk. The anger will come out. I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing to have it out as long as there are a couple of guidelines. Join me next time for some suggestions in this area.
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